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With the clocks now back and the dark nights upon us it can some times make us feel a bit gloomy, so staff at Brechin Library thought they would try to cheer you up with some library themed funnies.

Once upon a time, an old man befuddled the local library by requesting a book about face.

“I have been reading about it a lot in the paper recently,” said the perplexed pensioner .

“I don’t really know what a Facebook is, but, it sounded interesting so I thought to myself, where do they have face books?” The old gentleman, who is a self confessed technophobe, had heard that you can get to talk to new friends via the face book and assumed it might be some kind of self help manual. Library anecdote:

Patron: “I am looking for a globe of the earth.”  Librarian: “We have a table-top model over here.”  Patron: “No, that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life-size?”  Librarian: (pause) “Yes, but it’s in use right now.” 

The Guardian newspaper is to be thanked for bringing this article to the library’s attention, having interviewed former librarian, Jan Bild, in Worthing after a 30 year career working in libraries.

The following strange articles were found in the books returned to the library:- a rasher of uncooked bacon (presumably a book mark); a £10 note ; a shoelace; one large feather; a bag of hashish in a hole gouged in the book’s centre pages ; a pension book; love letters to Edith; vomit (sorry); photos; page where every letter ‘O’ had been coloured in; excrement (sorry again); bank statements; spaghetti.

Recommended:

Brechin library staff have been indulging again and they recommend the following:-

Linwood Barclay – The Accident:

“I first discovered Linwood Barclay when one of his books “No time for Goodbye” was chosen by Richard & Judy as part of one of their book clubs,” explains a staff member.

“I thoroughly enjoyed that novel which was an absolute page turner and everyone I know who has read it has loved it.

“As a committed fan of his writing I was eager to get started on his latest offering, and I read it in two days it was of his usual standard, full of plot twists and turns and did not disappoint.

“Glen Barber and his wife are like many people feeling the pinch of the economic downturn, but his wife thinks she may have a plan that will help to relieve their financial burden; unfortunately she is killed in a strange car accident before she is able to reveal to Glen what her plan was.

“Glen’s young daughter then becomes unwittingly involved in the drama when she overhears a phone conversation implicating one of her late mother’s best friends, but then she too suddenly dies in a tragic accident.

“Glen starts to suspect that there may be more to these accidents than meets the eye but can he prove it?

The Radleys – Matt Haig:

“Had I realised that this was a book about Vampires I would not even lifted it off the shelf,” explains a staff member. “However, I was reading it to review it for the Angus Book Award and it is very cleverly disguised therefore I gave it a go!

“I enjoyed it very much and think that it would appeal to many whether you normally read Vampire type books or not, having said that it has not converted me in the slightest to becoming a reader of the blood sucking genre!

“The Radley’s are, to the outsider, a perfectly normal family with two teenage children, the father is a doctor, they juggle their working and family lives just as many other families do up and down the country, however they do have a few peculiar traits.

“They have a strong aversion to garlic, animals & birds give them a wide berth and they can’t go outside without wearing factor 60 sunscreen.

“However, they are not practising Vampires they are abstainers and the children are oblivious to the fact that they are a family of Vampires, until one night when the teenage daughter is attacked and her instincts kick in. It is quite a light hearted and humorous read and looks at Vampires from a different angle.”

Milly Johnson – Here come the girls:

“This is chick lit at sea!,” explains a library staff member.

“Four women who have been best of friends (mostly!) since high school and who live fairly normal unfulfilling lives, are reaching that milestone birthday the Big 40, when one of them wins a luxury all expenses paid holiday for the four of them on a Mediterranean cruise.

“It seems heaven scent, especially as they had promised their teenage selves, on a hot summer’s day back at school that they would definitely all get together on a cruise to celebrate their Fortieths, of course to them that was a lifetime away!

“So when Ven drops the bombshell that they are all going on a cruise together they are all eventually delighted after being persuaded to leave their partners and jobs behind for 16 nights of luxury.

“The book is split up into the days at sea along with the dress code and ports the ship will be visiting.

“I enjoyed this book immensely and felt as though I was on the cruise with the girls, not least because of the descriptions of the food and drink!

“It’s light hearted and chick lit at its best a lovely holiday read or for a long dark night to bring some sunshine in!”